- For the past 3 weeks Ive decided its time to make a lifestyle change. With the support of a good friend of mine I have committed to go to bed every night by 11, at the LATEST. Most nights have been closer to 10. Its been interesting. I feel a tad more rested (but still I don't pop out of bed like Id hoped) I went from sleeping 5 hours a night to 9 (with still a couple interruptions). So I feel like Ive lost my me time, my social time, my time to create and search the web for the perfect craft or do it your self project. Gone is my time to chat on the phone or MSN with other Moms waiting till their Babies are tucked in bed. I Just cant seen to get as much accomplished. So my question is are we meant to get that much accomplished?
- I want to live with more purpose. Most days I feel like I'm on the set of "ground hog day" the movie. I want to look for the moment that are simple yet wonderful. I want to wake up each day with vigor and direction. (I also want Adam and Aliza to sleep through the night!)
- I want to help my Children with their struggles. Jayna is having a very difficult time in school. Grasping math concepts and is struggling in all aspects of school. I suspect she has a learning Disability (it pains me to type that) And after a tearful meeting at the school we have decided to peruse a private course and have her tested. Which will most likely cost us thousands. My Children are so different. Every thing comes so easy for Jacob and Aliza. Jayna has to work so hard to keep a float, and now we have Adam. Some days I wonder if my heart can take this. Feels like so much worry and pain for my children. I try to remind myself that I was a constant under achiever in elementary school, and didn't really read with comprehension until I was in grade 4. And my brother was labeled with a learning disability (and is now a very successful electrician) I just want to know its going to be OK. It will be OK right?
- I am feeling the need for change. Our tiny home is feeling smaller every day. Change scares me. We have NEVER moved. Now the idea of changing communities, schools and Dr's freaks me out. But you never get ahead with out risk right? I wonder when will we be willing to make a change? When we will get ahead... It will happen right? One day?
- The Blog. Its a love hate relationship. I'm finding that some people feel it replaces the need for relationships. Some of my dearest friends read my blog and feel like they know what is going on with me, so they feel no need to call, or share what is going on in their lives. The Blog is such a small part of my life. Very rarely do I share my feelings and hardships. In the world of texting, Blogs, MSN and Facebook there is still something to be said for a phone call, and hand written note...and even more real life face to face time.
So much more on my mind.... but not enough time. I guess this is one of those posts "just keepin it real"
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
{on my mind}
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9 comments:
Tricia, you are the most real person I know! And you help others be more real too. I love you for that! Thank you for being who you are.
I LOVE "just keepin it real" posts. Not everything is always peaches and cream. (I wish it were though!)
I feel a lot like you. I struggle to find alone time myself, my daughter might have some learning disabilities too (math and reading), and that pains me deeply. We have literally popped out of the seems in our home, but I know change isn't in our future financially.
So, back to you... I know we don't know each other... but you are right... everything WILL BE OK!
((hugs))
I love you! You inspire me daily.
I was doing some more thinking about your post. He will not fail you. That does not mean that life is easy or without disappointments. (as you already know). There will be many and sometimes bitter ones. But in the end when it is said and done He will make them okay or seem less significant. So to answer your question Yes, it will be okay. Just keep holding on.
Wish I could send you more than an e-hug, but it is still sincere.
It will definitely be OK. I'd love to call you and see how you are doing but I lost your number! I think I've emailed you mine. Let me know if you want another chat. A is doing pretty well overall but slow in gross motor. She's been sick so I'm pretty shattered right now. All will be well though. Fever is gone and all we need is some sleep. Ahhhh sleep.
I think you are on the right track with the sleep increase. It's not forever, just for awhile. These years are so short. Wow you look great for someone surviving on 5 hours. I've been getting the same and i'm near crazy.
I'm sooo sorry if I make you feel that way my sweet. I do love you more than you know and I need to find better ways to let you know that. I promise to make a better effort in being a better support to you. I think about you and your babies often and admire all the work and love you put into your family, nobody does it like you do and I'm not just talking about your ability to use a bottle of glitter. I adore you and I hope you know that.
I will call you VERY soon!
Love Ya
Tammy
You are a wise and powerful mamma. You are blessed with great wisdom and you are making good choices for you and your family. Change is very scary but can be a really good thing....or so I've heard...tee hee....
Love you bunches.
Girl you are my blogging buddy. I know you said that you felt like I was a friend even though we had never met or even talked and I feel the exact same way as you. It will be ok. I haven't been commenting because we lost my father-in-law on Valentines and things just aren't the same but I had to comment on this post. YOu all will get through the hard parts.
My Sweet daughter, Please remember that "this too shall pass". As much as I worried and fretted over you and your brother, we too did the best that we could and hoped that each of you would find a place to shine. You did! You may not have been an acedemic genius in grade school, but you blew us away in high school and no grass has grown under you toes since. Jayna is a beautiful, loving, and caring young lady who will find her way and we will all do as much as we can to help. Adam, I think, will surprise us all and grow to be thwe special person we already know he is. If you didn't care so much you would not be the mother that we are so proud of and that we cheer at every success and rally at every challenge with. Remember the best advice I ever gave you, "Be yourself", everyone will want to be with you because you are having such a good time just being you. Things seem to happen when they need to, just don't be afraid to take a few chances, those are the times/choices that make the big differences in our lives. Sleep is over rated, trust me you can sleep when you are old, you are building your future and if it works for you don't fix it. Love Mom - hopefully we will have internet soon!!!!!
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