My poor baby girl.... the other day I noticed a lump on Aliza's neck....
Soon she wasn't able to move her neck from side to side, or up and down. She had a low grade fever and was pale lethargic and crabby.
I got scared, something felt wrong.... so I took her to the ER.
we waited
and waited and waited
then I had to pin poor Aliza down to take her blood FOUR different times
at 4 am in the morning the blood results came back. Her white blood cells came back high (NOT good)
and scared the tar outta me. She had all the symptoms of leukemia. Next they ran another batch of tests... and again I had to wait for the results. I called Justin and he got his brother to be with the other kids. And he came to be with his frantic wife and sick little girl. During that hour I was terrified that my little girl was really sick...so sick that we could loose her. I was feeling tremendous amount of guilt. Guilt that I didn't notice her lymph nodes enlarged, guilt that I wasn't spending enough one on one time with her. Guilt that I was focusing so much on Adam and his health and development that I was over looking my other children. When I looked at Aliza in the hospital crib...it hit me...this little girl was special.... something about her is so enduring. And the idea that her life could be in jeopardy made me shake in terror.
Honestly it was the longest hour of my life.
Aliza does not have Leukemia.... or Mono (as they also suspected) all she has is cervical adenitis
that's it... a round of antibiotics... and she'll be as good as new.
I am thankful
shaken up
and commited to be more attentive and make time for more one on one with my children.
Amongst all this chaos my friends (2 of my NICU moms) came by with a a bag of stress relievers....
Soon she wasn't able to move her neck from side to side, or up and down. She had a low grade fever and was pale lethargic and crabby.I got scared, something felt wrong.... so I took her to the ER.
we waited
and waited and waited
then I had to pin poor Aliza down to take her blood FOUR different times
at 4 am in the morning the blood results came back. Her white blood cells came back high (NOT good)
and scared the tar outta me. She had all the symptoms of leukemia. Next they ran another batch of tests... and again I had to wait for the results. I called Justin and he got his brother to be with the other kids. And he came to be with his frantic wife and sick little girl. During that hour I was terrified that my little girl was really sick...so sick that we could loose her. I was feeling tremendous amount of guilt. Guilt that I didn't notice her lymph nodes enlarged, guilt that I wasn't spending enough one on one time with her. Guilt that I was focusing so much on Adam and his health and development that I was over looking my other children. When I looked at Aliza in the hospital crib...it hit me...this little girl was special.... something about her is so enduring. And the idea that her life could be in jeopardy made me shake in terror.
Honestly it was the longest hour of my life.
Aliza does not have Leukemia.... or Mono (as they also suspected) all she has is cervical adenitis
that's it... a round of antibiotics... and she'll be as good as new.
I am thankful
shaken up
and commited to be more attentive and make time for more one on one with my children.
Amongst all this chaos my friends (2 of my NICU moms) came by with a a bag of stress relievers....
Candace and Kelsey you are heaven sent! Thank you for thinking of me...and making me feel so loved!
The few bad days are over now.....and mama is back to herself .... rocking the blue eye shadow!
2 comments:
I'm glad that Aliza is okay. That must have been very scary for you and Justin. I remember that feeling - waiting for test results and having to think about the best and worst case scenarios.
You're such a great mom Tricia - your kids are blessed to have you.
And yes, you rock the blue eye shadow!!!
Oh Trish, how scary!! I'm so glad Aliza is alright.
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